Home News Did Patriots sign their Lamar Jackson stand-in as a UDFA?

Did Patriots sign their Lamar Jackson stand-in as a UDFA?


The New England Patriots have signed imitation Lamar Jackson in the form of former Louisville star quarterback Malik Cunningham.

Lamar Jackson may be the Baltimore Ravens‘ starting quarterback now and going forward, but the New England Patriots have long loved quarterbacks who can run and played at Louisville.

When it was up in the air as to where Jackson would play this season, New England was kind of always in the mix. He would go from one strong football culture to another, while simultaneously being able to make up for offensive deficiencies. Even if Jackson is more Maryland than football and crab cakes, good for the Patriots getting their helping of imitation crab in Malik Cunningham.

By signing Cunningham to a record-setting contract for an undrafted free agent, we know what type of quarterback gets them in the feels, dawg…

New England Patriots sign imitation crab Lamar Jackson in Malik Cunningham

Look. I am not hating on imitation crab. It is delicious, makes my sushi extra tasty, but I know what it is. Cunningham did have his moments at Louisville, but I don’t think I would have played my best football for opportunist extraordinaire Scott Satterfield either. I mean, he left Louisville for regional rival Cincinnati right before they faced each other at Fenway Park for the most sacred Keg of Nails.

To be frank, Louisville has kind of been varying shades of an unmitigated disaster ever since Jackson turned pro. The air could not have escaped faster out of the hog-heathened whoopee cushion known as Bobby Petrino. All the while, the men’s basketball team had fewer wins than the Louisville Cardinals’ mascot has teeth. I wish I was kidding, but I counted and I am not wrong here.

As for the Patriots, I hope this works out for them because it really feels like they are flinging stuff at the wall offensively to see what sticks. I’m not saying Bill Belichick knows less about offense than Jeff Fisher, but the Patriots have quickly become the AFC equivalent of Jeff Fisher 7-9 B.S. after Tom Brady went to the Florida Gulf Coast to live a sweet, semi-retired life for active seniors.

Overall, I would love to be proven wrong by what the Patriots do offensively, but I am kind of more in the vein of McEnroe Jones these days. I’m not breaking rackets on the lawn, but I get why he is causing a racket on the sidelines. Body language be damned, this is his career we’re talking about! So if the Patriots are getting out of the McCorkle business, then let it ride with this Big Red Louie.

At least Cunningham will be getting more love from the Patriots than Satterfield ever showed him.